Friday INs and OUTs, not on the telly, the revolution will not be televised …


Getting people to believe Shadrach from Emmerdale was also the Lion in the Wizard of Oz 

Being on first name terms with the guy that delivers yer kebabs.

The intro to Rasputin by Boney M. Oi oi oi oi oi

Chucking the booze

Pete Chan’s Bag ‘o’ Chips group thing. Good man.

Rubbing noses with yer dog and calling him an arsehole.

Weatherall’s tribute in McChuills Bar

MacGregors Bar – Hillwood Terrace free pies on the bar.

Cameron Diaz popping

Smashing fellies — all-time greats

Holywell Street office parties

Harry Lauder — ickle ickle ickleing

Stuffing mash get smashed into your Mums shoes

Tripping up men with man buns

Asking folk if they want a beer or a thick ear

Debating the best chippie in Rosyth and Inverkeithing.

Tennants at the Ladywell Pub through the secret pipe if yer back on the booze.

OC cartoon range

The bloke that drives the Brannigan Crisps lorry

Having auld friends called Elspeth

Nicola Sturgeon eating a sturgeon, whilst being operated on by a dodgy surgeon.

Having middle aged friends called Sebastian

Remembering ‘how it used to be’

Varnishing a chist ‘o’ drawers

Still having a crush on Elsie Tanner from Corrie

Smokey Robinson eating smokey bacon crisps

Cheesecake addictions

Kermit’s cousin Robin’s song “Halfway up the Stairs”


Jim ‘Nic Nic’ Davidson racist twat, funny as toothache

Getting anxious in the chippy queue

Being ‘slightly’ racist

Shorts and desert boots combo’s

Boomerang beer fear and hangsxiety after a sesh

Alex Rae

Depressing electric and gas prices.

Depressing electric and gas competitive prices when it all comes out the same fuckin pipe!

Scottish winters and horizontal sleet

Petit Bourgeois attitude to life

Ran2ers and the Daily Record Morelos sales

Mental Health stigma — socks up psychiatry

Hipster earlobe piercing

Going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and fucking on….and on

That song from the mid-‘80s “wohhh oh wohhhh oh wohh ohhh building a bridge to your heart” on the golden hour.

Selling your soul on ebay

“having bantz” quote

COVID grass on yer neighbour attitude to life.

Different Rules for the elite

Cancer, depression, anxiety

COVID Mental Health

Mistaking baldy people for each other.

The sinister emergence of hooligan darts crews.


Re-runs of Emmerdale

Nigel Fash-lite Farage

COP26 fakers

The excitable “Whoop whoop” cry

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