IN:
Hair Transplants
Machine Gun style laughter in the workplace.
0-2 at Kinning Park Rowing Club.
Johnny Marr being a Tim.
The Helping Hands Solidarity.
Reebok Classics with cords.
Boys Own T.
Wigan Hot pie!
Thangs and Hings instead of Things.
Mid-life infernos.
Wohhh your so fine you blow my mind!
Harry Lauder – Stop yer Ticklin Jock
Smoking like a fish!
The start of the diet.
Watching yer onions grow.
Rita Ora again!
Francie McCann’s big smile!
Magnum Classic
Telling people ‘they ain’t seen nothing yet!’
Asking the Barman for a drink that all the young yins drink these days!
People who pil-fridge from M&S Food shop and give it to the homeless.
Justifying necking a whole box of Go Ahead Bars!
Aldo’s Hot Dogs.
Any record by Harry Lauder!
A flag on behalf of good lads!
Asking ‘s’appenin?’ on a Conference Call.
Saying ‘Cheers now’ after a Conference Call.
Framed picture of Griffiths waving the tricolour!
Liam Gallagher getting the Rebs on!
Testing all the aftershaves in Debenhams.
Smoking out racists on social media.
Diet Irn Bru.
Zipping up yer Boots!
Big Boots Big Toots!
Bowie – Starman full blast!
OUT:
Love Island.
Keyboard warriors with invisible wheelbarrows.
song on the radio, lyric: ‘wanna fu-oo-oo, but I’m broken hearted Cr-cr-cry but I like to party’
Old song on the radio lyrics: ‘Cry me a River!’
Inheriting a Darth Vader mask for Sleep Apnea.
The neighbour still calling you Aldo and asking ‘s’appenin!’
Blokes with t-shirts saying ‘I don’t need to google’ on it.
Weatherspoon’s.
The Scottish Press and lickspittle SEVCO stories.
Getting texts telling you you’ve won a Diet Coke if you … sign up to …’
Getting a leaflet through the door every two days for Dominos Pizza!
Anxiety stigma ‘why don’t you just set yourself a 30 minutes worry period a day’
Not getting 30 mins cardio a day.
The Voice… f*ckin cringefest!
Islamophobia.
People slurping yogurt on the train, scooping with the silver lid.
Media witch-hunt against Jeremy Corbyn.
Sevconian Moon Howlers.
A student cafe in Manchester called ‘Nom Nom’
5p a bag!
Getting asked if you want a bag!
£75 average for Adidas OG’s.
Walking into cobwebs.
Mental Health Stigma number 2,100 ‘eat more fruit’
Steven Gerrard (what a trumpet he really is)
David Jeffrey’s Snippets.
Boring Brexit debates.
Evil Tory bassas!
That’s all folks, remember it’s only a lark. Keep on Keeping on, switch everything aff at night, eat yer greens and tune in.
Holywell Street 