Uppers

Being a Tim

Deciding to purchase the original Benetton rugby shirt at £95 to at least frame.

Paul Heaton doing gigs for the Miners.

Top the League.

Callum Macarena McGregor!

Rebs on full-blast and not giving a shizer!

The Green Brigade singing George and Pop.

Cameron Diaz for Sunday Beer Fear.

Pinky out espresso  drinking.

Priya Sharma from Emmerdale.

Driving past Celtic Park and saying to yourself: ‘er she is though!’

Chilled Peroni.

Four f*ckin chunky kit-kats £1 Asda!

Heaton & Abbott’s new album.

Speaking through your nose on a conference call.

Baking a can of strongbow and calling it Sunday roast.

Mistaking baldy people for each other.

Tripping up Fascists.

Tripping up men with man buns.

Winning the pottery.

Brendan’s toothy smile

Lady’s with thigh tattoos (again)

Gerry Cinnamon.

Singing down the pub to wonderwall with old geezers.

Being a sound chap.

Andrew Wevvers Weatherall.

Downers

The Christmas quote: ‘are you all set?’

Office Santa’s grotto types ringing a bell every two mins ‘ho ho ho’

That Morelas twat that plays for SEVCO!

Being a plum when it’s easier to be a sounder!

Thinking yer ten years younger than folk, but you’re ten years older.

Lassies saying ‘cheers now’ after blowies for beak.

30p for the f*ckin toilet at a train station. 

Capitalist Cold Callers: ‘remember the accident you were in’

Last train whoppers.

Man Buns (again)

Folk moaning about the hot weather!

The trendy concept of ‘street food’

Steven Gerrard.

Domino Pizza leaflet through the door once a week.