Friday INs and OUTs, not on the telly, the revolution will not be televised.


Getting people to believe Shadrach from Emmerdale was also the Lion in the Wizard of Oz 

Being on first name terms with the guy that delivers yer kebabs.

The intro to Rasputin by Boney M. Oi oi oi oi oi

Chucking the booze

Pete Chan’s Bag ‘o’ Chips group thing. Good man.

Rubbing noses with yer dog and calling him an arsehole.

Weatherall’s tribute in McChuills Bar

Cameron Diaz popping

Smashing fellows — all-time greats

Holywell Street office parties

Harry Lauder — ickle ickle ickleing

Stuffing mash potatoes in your Mums shoes

Tripping up men with man buns

Asking folk if they want a beer or a thick ear

Debating the best chippie in Rosyth and Inverkeithing.

Fash police informers

Tennants at the Ladywell Pub through the secret pipe.

OC cartoon range

The bloke that drives the Brannigan Crisps lorry

Having auld friends called Elspeth

Nicola Sturgeon eating a sturgeon, whilst being operated on by a dodgy surgeon.

Having young friends called Sebastian

Remembering ‘how it used to be

Varnishing a chist ‘o’ drawers

Smokey Robinson eating smokey bacon crisps

Cheesecake addictions

Getting caught singing ‘the smurf song’.


Jim ‘Nic Nic’ Davidson racist twat, funny as toothache

Getting anxious in the chippy queue

Being ‘slightly’ racist

Shorts and desert boots combo’s

Boomerang beer fear and hangsxiety after a sesh

Alex Rae

Scottish winters and horizontal sleet

Petit Bourgeois attitude to life

Ran2ers and the Daily Record Morelos sales

Mental Health stigma — socks up psychiatry

Hipster earlobe piercing

Going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and fucking on….and on

That song from the mid-‘80s “wohhh oh wohhhh oh wohh ohhh building a bridge to your heart” on the golden hour.

Selling your soul on ebay

“having bantz” quote

COVID grass on yer neighbour attitude to life.

Different Rules for the elite

Cancer, depression, anxiety

COVID Mental Health

Mistaking baldy people for each other.

The sinister emergence of hooligan darts crews.


Re-runs of Emmerdale

Nigel Fash-lite Farage

COP26 fakers

‘Whoop whoop’

That’s awe the hings this week, Keep eating yer greens and switch everything aff at night. Thanks for tuning in. Any complaints speak with Paul Kealy.

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