Uppers & Downers


By Holywell Street 28th January 2019


The Keto Diet.

No black mutt episodes in January

Filling all yer Mums shoes with mashed potatoes.

Timothy Weah

Being aff it

Bouncing about with the Green Brigade when approaching 50.

The new lights at Paradise.

The release of the Benetton rugby top at long last.

Three points clear and a game in hand.

The Specials teaming up with  Saffiyah Khan

Saying: ‘double treble, treble treble’ ten times without slipping up.

Calling yer auld dear Duchess

30 year friendships reunited.

Whistling the Rebs.


Love Island.

Steven Gerrard

Ninja Assassin – Alfredo Morelos

Stephen Yaxley-Lennon

Horizontal rain at the match

Keyboard warriors with invisible wheelbarrows.

Blokes with t-shirts saying: ‘let’s celebrate’ with a pic of a champagne glass on it.

song on the radio, lyric: ‘wanna fu-oo-oo, but I’m broken hearted Cr-cr-cry but I like to party’

Old song on the radio lyrics: ‘Cry me a River!’ 

Inheriting a Darth Vader mask for Sleep Apnea. 

Blokes with t-shirts saying ‘I don’t need to google’ on it.


Blowies for Beak on the increase.

Scousers referring to scallies as casuals
Talking to yourshelf (sic)
Ordering a pint of vitriol after the last Celtic v Hun game



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