By Holywell Street 28th January 2019
Uppers
The Keto Diet.
No black mutt episodes in January
Filling all yer Mums shoes with mashed potatoes.
Timothy Weah
Being aff it
Bouncing about with the Green Brigade when approaching 50.
The new lights at Paradise.
The release of the Benetton rugby top at long last.
Three points clear and a game in hand.
The Specials teaming up with Saffiyah Khan
Saying: ‘double treble, treble treble’ ten times without slipping up.
Calling yer auld dear Duchess
30 year friendships reunited.
Whistling the Rebs.
Downers
Love Island.
Steven Gerrard
Ninja Assassin – Alfredo Morelos
Stephen Yaxley-Lennon
Horizontal rain at the match
Keyboard warriors with invisible wheelbarrows.
Blokes with t-shirts saying: ‘let’s celebrate’ with a pic of a champagne glass on it.
song on the radio, lyric: ‘wanna fu-oo-oo, but I’m broken hearted Cr-cr-cry but I like to party’
Old song on the radio lyrics: ‘Cry me a River!’
Inheriting a Darth Vader mask for Sleep Apnea.
Blokes with t-shirts saying ‘I don’t need to google’ on it.
Weatherspoon’s.
Blowies for Beak on the increase.