A Working Class Catwalk

First, they hijacked the Skinhead then they came for “terrace dressers”. Two subcultures with origins in mixed-race and the working class. Much like the Mods – working-class lad or lass dresses up. Black and white unity if you like. A subculture, a movement, a trend highjacked by the right-wing.

It’s 1983 and I’m walking through the Barrowlands in Glasgow on the London Road side of the market. Myself and a friend are dressed in post -Two-Tone attire with wedge haircuts and baggy jeans.

I’ve heard it said and I agree, “Where’s the next scene?’ Nobody sees it coming, ah it’s over there.” – (Casuals DVD)

A fellow Celtic supporter walks towards us, “Cannae get moving for Aberdeen casuals lads eh?” We have no idea what he’s talking about. Then I see them – hundreds of young lads walking past us dressed in sportswear and like us, they’re heading towards Celtic Park.

Soccer Casuals

I didn’t know what I thought in regard to how they looked, it seemed almost mystical. It reminded me of rugby attire or perhaps skiing holidaymakers taking the wrong route. Although they looked like boy-next-door, you could see it had an edge which became apparent when they started having verbal’s with Celtic fans. The wedge haircuts were perhaps the give away to something sinister. History tells us the original concept to this look was anti-suss; not intended to be stylish, it was more a disguise, replacing the bovver boy hooligan. This was a welcome change from stiff-arm boneheads. To cut a long story short, within months I was absorbed. Engrossed on the clothes, the confrontation and everything that came with it. We would start to see this new found style at Celtic after a wee while, but it was more an individual look rather than a collective response until the 1984/85 season when Celtic first had its crew of this new counter culture. We wanted to know more about this new phenomenon. With the clothes evolving every few weeks we wanted to be clued-up before being a step ahead.

But where was the music attached to this? We are always looking to London and the rest of England for its origins, initially we’re led to believe it was born in Aberdeen, but how could it be? Aberdeen is remote and hardly trendsetting.

As we touched on above, Casuals (terrace scene) has NO right-wing origins. The new found gammon heads would have you believe it’s mutually inclusive for a modern-day hooligan to be a one dimensional patriotic geezer. The non-creative are loving the poppy porn festival which seems to get bigger every year, and is now continuing beyond the remembrance week. This militaristic fetish seems to celebrate war instead of the sombre tribute that it is supposed to be.

The stiff-arm patriots will jump around to bands like The Specials; sing along to their lyrics as well as The Farm, The Housemartins, The Clash, Paul Weller and The Beautiful South; ignoring or unprepared to check what their message is.

Born out of football terraces with no musicians attached to its origins, you had to look for a tune that fitted.

Paul Heaton

Opposing Fascism

Before Waxy Lemon et al. you had the NF and BNP on a recruitment drive with football firms around the country. So we end up with the obligatory stiff-arm salutes trying to hijack another subculture by the end of the 80s and into the 90s. So where does this start and finish? Fascism is anti-working class; it attempts to control and split it. Fascism is not compatible with original 80s football lads and lassies. We were rebelling against Thatcher’s Britain.

I am a member of Football Lads and Lasses Against Fascism (FLAF) and believe that we as football fans have a duty to reject the hateful message of the ultra-right. They are the tools of the ruling class and always blame the wrong people when the going gets tough. We can all support our own teams and even countries – although I’m not a patriot myself – but we also need to protect our own communities and those less fortunate than ourselves. As The Who said: we won’t get fooled again!”– (P. Thornton; FLAF article – 27 August 2019)

Due to popular belief this counter culture started in the North West, particularly Liverpool, a working-class city going through major hardship at the time. When Liverpool regularly played in Europe during the late 70s and into the 80s, their fans brought back with them these obscure sportswear labels. “A crocodile? What’s this all about?”

With a bit of robbing on the way, it was working-class lads on the take looking for their own one-upmanship.

The trainers the Liverpool lads came across were also obscure and were easy pickings given the fact they were normally on display outside shops. The Scouse lads and their Manchester counterparts then went on their own personal excursions in search of the sportswear such as trainers and tracksuits; not seen in the UK. When the lads kicked this off it started being worn at the football. Was this supposed to be stylish or was it anti-suss?

The London Casual was born out of modern soul boys and dub music spreading to the football terraces. This scene was populated with Afro-Caribbean chaps leading the way. There was a link from mod to skins to soul boys. The first London “casuals” were kids who had been clubbing (Arsenal and Ladbroke grove had battles at the Lyceum and Arsenal and Under-fives down the Hackney Road) The NF never got a foothold at Spurs or Arsenal. Chelsea had a top younger casual lot that were racially mixed and other firms who were right-wing but everyone was “Chelsea first” and many prominent lads were black or mixed-race.

Weird situations looking back but I think for most of the younger kids doing a Nazi salute meant fuck off to the wider public rather than a salute to Adolf – it was a bit like when Punk adopted Nazi symbols as anti-establishment and as a way to shock … all the London clubs had main lads of different races and colours while still having racists in the firms .. you can’t put normal rules of society onto hooligans” – (T. Farley; HWS – 6 Jan 2021) https://holywellst.com/2019/03/02/terry-farley/

Peter Hooton

“By the time London has its own version of this, it’s Arsenal that leads the way, there certainly wasn’t much right-wing within their unit especially with the number of black lads within their ranks and leading them.” – (P. Hooton; TAL Fanzine – 7 Sep 2020)

“Casual style in London grew out of the late seventies soul boy scene this was inherently racially mixed – the idiots who wanted to be racists became boneheads. Our fanzine Boys Own was very left-wing (mainly because of comrade Steve Mayes, who also went to Chelsea with me) and we deliberately set out to stir shit up”. – (T. Farley; Skiddle article – 3 March 2016)

Bev — Aquascutum Girl

Bev Thompson

The Skinheads still wore shirts, drainpipe jeans and Doc Martens – a style stolen from the original Rude Boys in Jamaica. But now their divisive views seemed out-dated. Leicester was the multi-cultural capital of the U.K. Our football firm’s head-boy was a Black Guy – (B. Thompson; HWS 4th Jan 2022) https://holywellst.com/2022/01/05/beverley-thompson-chats-with-holywell-street/

It can be argued that casuals as a concept finished around 1989. The anti-suss part had been sussed and it went mainstream. After that, you had trendy hooligans, although you may ask “what’s the difference?” We are aware of the campaign to reclaim Fred Perry and to rescue it from symbols used by undesirable’s – maybe would should reclaim Lacoste.

For a United Working Class

Home

Bobby Gillespie – Tenement Kid, Book Review

By Holywell Street, 25th January 2022

At long last, the charismatic Primal Scream founder member and frontman has recorded his memoirs. This book is one we have been eagerly awaiting. Bobby Gillespie has always been outspoken especially on his passions that we mirror here at Hollywell Towers. His devotions revolve around music, style, football (in particular his beloved Celtic Football Club) and left-leaning working-class politics. This autobiography is an education in music and politics, he has an astonishing depth of knowledge in such subjects which is just as much intriguing as is his life story.

From being brought up in Springburn Palermo Street then moving to Mount Florida following what he describes as “slum clearance programme” his playgrounds growing up were abandoned factories, a sprawling graveyard and ghostly streets of evacuated tenements. He describes his working-class political opinion as observing generations in a scrap heap of poverty; the general social landscape being an underfed education system as well as poor housing, bad pay and conditions. However, some critics have questioned his working-class authenticity after choosing a public school upbringing for his kids. One thing is for sure, is that he has stuck with his political opinions to this day.

Like many other Celtic supporters Bobby Gillespie hails from a Socialist upbringing. He even describes his father as a Marxist (he was trade unionist). Along with the radical left-wing literature; pictures in the living room of the family were of the Black Panthers and Che Guevara “Thank fuck” as he says in relief. Both his parents were also very much political and were members of the International Socialists (IS) a platform within the Scottish Socialist Party descended from Scottish Militant Labour.

Music and counter culture are his only way to escape the hardscrabble Glasgow upbringing. Once famously saying, we formed Primal Scream as we “were dreaming our way out of Glasgow”

As well as being politically impeccable, he is one cool chap. The story covers his first-generation punk apprenticeship and his love for elitist rock’n’roll, and then onto acid house. Certain records have had a life changing effect on Bobby Gillespie. You can feel his passion; hear the enthusiasm in his voice. One being Siouxsie and the Banshees – Hong Kong Garden is a record that is a stand-out for the staff here at HWS.

This is also a work of many cool quotes I would shamelessly take for myself, that was another big benefit I observed as I read through the book.

BG and Weatherall

I met Bobby Gillespie once through Andy Weatherall. It was weekender on Hastings pier early ‘90s. I found him to be the cool romantic. As well as doing the Primal Scream gigs, you would also see him on the dance floor lost in the moment at many good club nights.

HWS highly recommend this book. It is a much more interesting read than I was expecting.

January Dreaming

By Ste Carter – 7 January 2022

All the leaves have gone (all the leaves have gone)
And the Sky is shite (and the sky is shite)
Tell me why the hell (tell me why the hell)
It’s always fucking night (it’s always fucking night)
I’d be safe and warm (I’d be safe and warm)
If I was in Tenerife (if I was in Tenerife)
January dreaming (Janaury dreaming )
Just a load of fucking grief (just a load of grief)

How others see us …

By Ste Carter 4/1/20

I was brought up on a NW council estate in the ‘60s.

My Mum’s side were all Athlone Catholic’s. Fierce hard talkin’, drinkin’ swearin’ and fightin Aunties abounded. Parties as you can imagine were fucking great.

6F5853F7-191F-445C-BAFD-7CD4698F3023

More of the above with the odd rebel LP banged on at the end of the night.

So you might think me a natural sympathiser to the republican cause and by proxy Celtic football club. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth.

I’d made my way over to you by way of my hard thought out political beliefs, and not by any sectarian ones.

See, I’m a socialist first and foremost.

I see life simply as a struggle between big capital, those who have, and Labour, those who don’t have.

Life is a battle, between the two competing interests.

It’s Them and us. It’s a simple as that.

If that is your basic starting block then there is no place there for monarchy within that frame of reference, and therefore sympathy for Irish, or indeed any, Republicanism is a natural precursor.

As far as football goes, I’ve no interest in ‘sectarianism’ in any form, but I vehemently oppose the idea that one of my friends has that the Glasgow Derby is ‘two cheeks of the same arse’?

Republicanism and Celtic FC represents to me anti fascism, anti racism and socialism ideals.

The sad fact is that the other side represents Unionism, at times blatant racism, and that hideous willingness to be subservient to unelected powers like the monarchy.

So They are a world apart.

It’s why I despise Gerrard.

Not because he’s a Kopite, but because, if we scousers, and I’m a poor one at that, stand for anything, it’s everything that he has seemingly rejected.

Peace.

 

Beverley Thompson chats with Holywell Street

HWS hooked up with Bev Thompson (Aquascutum Girl) once again.  We wanted to converse over the film “Beverley” which is now viewable to watch.  Also, her social upbringing, being a Rude Girl during the two-tone scene and moving onto being a casual girl in Leicester City’s Baby Squad.  The racial tension growing up in Leicester and the political mix from Rude Girl to Casual.  This is the life of a mixed-race teen in the ‘80s.

Red Casual, Angela and Paul connected with her through Skype.

She is one cool lady and perfect for our subculture section.

How’s things?  Thanks for talking to us again.  We see the film Beverley can now be watched by everyone rather than just the film festivals.  This has raised more interest again with a lot of new viewers.

For the new readers what is the film about and what was it trying to convey to the audience?

The film was based on my childhood growing up in Leicester in 1980.  Highfields was an inner-city multi-cultural community.  When I was 11 years-old we moved to the outskirts, suburban life was a big culture shock.  I was used to the sound of Reggae, the smell of Ganja (Cannabis) and playing –outside.  I had no idea that some-one’s skin –colour was an issue, until I moved to a white conservative area.

In the film, Bev makes friends with the local kids – due to their shared love of two-tone.

Two-Tone music was ‘protest music’ made in the U.K. it was the rage against the machine and stood-up against racism and inequality.  Thatcherism neo-liberalism was killing socialist ideals and dissipating working-class communities.  It was a dark time for every-one.

Two-Tone was a music and fashion genre, a re-mix of Jamaican Ska and the sharp Black and White clothes worn by Rude Boys in 1960s Jamaican.  This style was imported and influenced 1960’s MOD Culture, (1960’s my Dad came here a Jamaican rude-boy and met my British mum who was a Mod).

11018669_812578895496198_5674082391656823270_o

Paul: How did you get involved in it?

Cass Pennant, Alex and myself were travelling by train to make the football fashion documentary ‘Casuals’ I told them about me being a Rude-Girl and moving from one culture to another.  I am mixed-race, and I guess the face of ‘1980s multi-culture Britain. Cass loved two-tone and the concept, that’s how the idea for the film got started.

The film was made in 2014 at the peak of Austerity.  The Tories were back in power and immigration back on the agenda, the far-right were becoming popular again, the rise of Islamophobia meant the Muslim community were being targeted.  Hate-crime against refugees and EU citizens from Eastern Europe were also increasing.

The protest music was now Grime.

It was the right time to make a film.

Paul: How well was the film received over the last few years?

The short film couldn’t have done any better.  We had stars like Vicky McClure, Neville Staples and the late Rankin Roger involved plus support from the two-tone community. Sennia Nenua, who played my younger sister, went on to have a lead role in the Hollywood blockbuster ‘The girl with all the Gifts’

b5eb7b88-b457-4196-870d-bdd3380e11f0

We won every award possible including making it to the last five films to be nominated for the short-film Oscar, the eventual winner had edited our film!

This is an Exclusive I have never talked about this publicly … Unfortunately the feature-film deal came along – I pulled out.  The script had reverted back to the old stereotypes were good and all the BAME characters bad.  I won’t do a feature-length version unless it is authentic.

There has been a floodgate of films dealing with Black British Identity and Black cinema is killing it.  Queen and Slim was amazing, an independent, low budget, protest film.  

Angela: I transitioned from Celtic supporter to Casual by becoming friends with boys and girls of the same age around 1984.  How did your transition come about?  

I was 15 years-old I hung out with a group of lads on a Saturday afternoon, we started joining in with the football- hooligan skirmishes.  As the token-female, I made sure I was one step ahead with my clothes.  My mum had a good eye too – before Casuals I wore Benetton and other designer labels.  My Dad wore Gabicci – we were a sharp-dressing family.  So, I easily morphed into Aquascutum Girl.

82E42AFD-2A09-4EE5-B850-D95393364C18

Angela: Some of the guys didn’t like us girls, others respected us. We would act as lookout and “pretend” girlfriend to whomever in our mob were under the watchful eye of the police. What was your experience?

I always preffered hanging out with the lads – I could boss them around – lol.  Boys went on adventures, which I loved!  Football on a Saturday was a build up of anticipation, a fierce battle, and then the euphoric after-glow.  It taught me self-respect, that I should be proud of whom I am and that a strong team of good mates is priceless, I am still close friends with most the lads from those days.

Angela: I am now 49 and still feel that my years with CSC and beyond are still grounding, keeps me strong as a mother and daughter. The sense of camaraderie speaks for itself. I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Those lessons I’ve passed on to my children – if you’re going to pick a tribe pick a loyal one. 

In the Casual’s documentary you mention it become easier to became a casual due to Leicester’s multi-racial crew whereas Skinhead seem to get highjacked by the far-right would you agree?

The Casuals movement or being a Trendy, as I called it, meant wearing trendy clothes-expensive name brands, specifically ‘casual’ sportswear like tracksuits and trainers. Until then ‘sportswear’ was only worn if you were playing a sport! The favourite brands were Fila, Kappa, Tachini, Lacoste and Adidas.

12746C65-F023-40F8-BE89-E4577EE12316

The Skinheads still wore shirts, drainpipe jeans and Doc Martens – a style stolen from the original Rude Boys in Jamaica.  But now their divisive views seemed out-dated.  Leicester was the multi-cultural capital of the U.K. Our football firm’s head-boy was a Black Guy.

The racist skinhead had to modernise or slipped back into the shadows. We had Whites, Blacks and Asian Hooligans, the full-works, all-standing side by side, against the common enemies – rival fans and the police.  The police were vicious.  The worse violence was dished out by the boys-in-blue, her majesty hooligan squad.

Laya Lewis plays the part well would you agree?

Laya Lewis played me in the film – brilliant casting.  Laya had been in Skins a TV drama based in Bristol, so had lots of experience.  She also resembled, the young me, so she was perfect.  I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to play me.

The Stone Foundation are an interesting band with a mix of ska, R&B and soul they do the theme tune Beverley for the film – an outstanding track. How does that feel to have a song dedicated to you?

The film’s theme song by Stone Foundation was inspired after meeting the guys at one of their Gigs.  Cass was a fan and converted me.  The song is timeless, and I never get tired of listening to it.  I feel honoured to have a song based on me but ultimately, it’s about all of us, in an image conscious world – we’re all judged on our appearance, but some more than others?

(see below)

Beverley

Here we go, can you give us your five favourite terrace labels 1985 onwards?

Aquascutum – Classic British Clothing – every-one needs to buy one thing from this label it will last a lifetime.

Benetton – Their advertising campaign was years ahead of its time and I love that poster, showing a global community. Their Brand has always been in style.

Fila and Lacoste who doesn’t love their logo – and flannel trackies – I just think ‘sexy beast’.

If I was buying a Trendy Label today Burberry and Pringle have got some mouth –watering garments.  They’ve up-dated their brand but stayed loyal to the original patterns.  Although I don’t know what Burberry was trying with its ‘noose’ jumper, which was disturbing!

Your favourite albums?

Musically – I want to big up Skinny man album ‘Council Estate of the Mind’ – a lyrical opera.  He opened the door to the Grime genre but has never got the credit he deserved, from the mainstream music industry.

I probably know all the words, to all the songs on Bob Marley’s Catch a Fire album

I love ‘Jungle’ music and a Rave is a good place to let your hair down and dance like no-one’s watching

Music – all depends on my mood – but let’s say anything I can stamp my feet too haha! Music that literally moves me!

I believe Celtic is your team up here, what did you think to our support for Palestine display?

Yes.  I also remember reading how  Celtic had been fined by UEFA but managed to crowd-fund 20 times that amount.  I love it when principles and action overcome threats and intimidation, but to do it for such a political hot potato as Palestine true courage and integrity.

The people of Palestine live in worse conditions then the blacks in South Africa under Apartheid, yet the world turns a blind eye – why?  Celtic are keeping the voice of the Palestine alive and that is the best use of football I’ve ever seen! Never give up, Never!

”you have to be some-one” — Bob Marley is this still your inspirational quote?

Yeah, I am an all or nothing kinda girl – that will never change.      

Thanks for talking to us Bev.

My pleasure. 

 

*Beverley the short movie can now be seen on youtube: BEVERLEY Award Winning Short Ska Film

Screen+Shot+2015-09-14+at+01_14_11

Angie – the myth …

The big rumour about this song is that it was written about David Bowie’s wife, Angela. She once wrote in her autobiography that she once walked in on Bowie and Mick Jagger “in bed together” – a story Jagger denies. Apparently the song was wrote to appease her! Keith Richards wrote the title. He said ‘Angie’ it was to do with his daughter. She’s called Angela. Jagger wrote the rest of it.

Don’t believe all you read in the media ……

Angelos Postecoglou is a Greek Australian football manager and former player, who is the our current manager; he was also Australia’s most successful and decorated manager.

When he became our manager as a virtual unknown on 10 June 2021; following the departure of Neil Lennon and a season that saw us lose the coveted “10 in a row” to Sevco. Expectations were high.

The signings followed (latest at the top)

20 Cameron Carter-Vickers, (loan) from Tottenham Hotspur, Aug 2021
17 Jota, (loan) from Benfica, Aug 2021
07 Giorgos Giakoumakis, £2.5m from VVV-Venlo, Aug 2021
05 Liam Scales, £500,000 from Shamrock Rovers, Aug 2021
88 Josip Juranovic, £2.5m from Legia Warsaw, Aug 2021
15 Joe Hart, £1m from Tottenham Hotspur, Aug 2021
16 James McCarthy, free from Crystal Palace, Aug 2021
04 Carl Starfelt, £4m from Rubin Kazan, Jul 2021
08 Kyogo Furuhashi, £4.6m from Vissel Kobe, Jul 2021
11 Liel Abada, £3.4m from Maccabi Petah Tikva, Jul 2021
50 Bosun Lawal, £120,000 from Watford, Jul 2021
26 Osaze Urhoghide, £200,000 from Sheffield Wednesday, Jul 2021
30 Liam Shaw, £300,000 from Sheffield Wednesday, Jul 2021
44 Joey Dawson, free from Scunthorpe United, Jun 2021

After winning the Glen’s vodka Scottish Premiership Manager of the Month award for October, Ange Postecoglou was quick to share the recognition with the rest of his staff and squad. An undefeated month, with crucial wins away at Aberdeen, Motherwell and Hibernian, helped the manager pick up his first accolade as Hoops boss.

Most notably has been the new signing Kyogo Furuhashi who has made an instant impact with 16 goals and a has earned himself a tribute from the fans.

We’ve got Abada, he’s on the wing,
We’ve got Kyogo, he’s doing his thing,
Ange is the leader,
We’ll follow the Celtic all over the world
.

Within Ange’s short tenure saw the death of beloved Lisbon Lion Bertie Auld.  His death was marked at the Celtic vs Aberdeen game on 28 November 2021.  That meant that former captain Scott Brown and current captain Callum McGregor carried a wreath to the centre circle.  Ange was clearly moved.

This led to the start of the famous ’67 minute song (enhanced by 50,000 lighters in unison around Paradise).

Sixty Seven,
In the heat of Lisbon,
The fans came in their thousands,
To See the Bhoys Become Champ-i-ons

Ange’s first silverware was on 19 December 2021 when we won the Cup Final against Hibernian with Kyogo scoring twice, earning him Man of the Match. The results followed and we are now sitting 10 games unbeaten.  Good luck Ange Postecoglu (from Angie at HWS)!

Ange make the clouds all disappear …….

Hogmanay Ins and Outs

Er it is though! New Year, same sh*#e, same shenanigans … In & Out shake it all about icw David Rosling productions …

IN:

Cold Water Exposure

Pizza vending machines.

Sacking alcohol

Bobby Gillespie’s book – Tenement Kid

Returning to Gabicci

Putting all yer wheelie bins out, instead of checking which one is due!

Sticking anything in the nearest wheelie bin!

Having a tomato as your only friend

Paddy the dog, great pet great life.

Paddy’s wee Celtic scarf

The amazing Fi Gal

Saying … Cheers now! instead of Happy New Year!

Joining the Easy Pleased Club

Building a shed made of Lard

Shouting out “er he/she is though” to everyone that walks into the workplace

Tam Yaffle

Ground Control to Major Tam Yaffle

Koyogo doing his thang

Weatherall’s 11 o’clock Drop

Having auld friends named Muriel

Remembering ‘how it used to be’

Smokey Robinson eating smokey bacon crisps

Doing the grand ole duke of York with Muriel

Getting caught singing ‘the smurf song’

Social distance brawls

Doing the school run dressed as an Afghan Hound

The esteemed Derek Monaghan

Hibernating til the next Celtic match!

All the Celtic Adidas gear

All the young dudes

Always mistaking fat people for each other.

Having a rebel blast

The ‘Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey’ intro to Rasputin – Boney M.

Thank Crunchie it’s Friday

Celtic’s three new signing from the land of sun

Omicron anagrams

Aldi’s middle aisle

Amazon Prime next day delivery

Pie and bovril fitba

OUT:

Black Mutt January – Black Mutt Covid January

Getting anxious in the chippy queue

Boydy on Sky Sports; only there for a cirry oan

Folk saying “amazeballs”

Soup toasties

petit bourgeois attitude as life

Slice of gammon washed down with fash lite

slippin’ and a slidin’

Tory Bar-stewards.

Liberty takers!

Blokes chanting ‘wohohohohohoho’ at Christmas night out, on the dance floor.

Charles Manson attitudes to life

TV advertising funeral’s and divorce lawyers – Capitalism gone mad.

Lads doing press-ups, fag in mouth, to impress them ladies.

Saying, “I can’t wait for this year to be over”

The 10 second countdown to New Year

New Year – celebrating a change of digit when it’s the same old same old.

January Joggers

January Gym sign ups – cancelled in time for multiple Easter Egg consumption

Horizonal rain

90% SEVCONIAN’s

SEVCO claiming bizarre European records

Hipsters thinking they invented style!

Five paragraphs of yadda yadda yadda

Whisky nose McCulloch

Peter Lawwell, Dermot Desmond.

Black Friday

COVID Christmas

That’s it for now. Divint take it serious. Cheers Now. Eat yer porridge, eat yer greens. Look for peace and not excitement. Get into a Boxing Club. Block toxic folk.

Mirror, signal, manoeuvre and on ye go. Keep on Keeping on!

Any complaints speak with Kealy, Blunn or Rosling

Come and visit at Holywell Street and meet the team, bring awe yer mates.

*HWS Towers is situated at 95 Holywell Street, next to Celtic Park (see below) get yersel roond.

McEwan’s Lager Top (3)

The Bowling Club bar has white decor and a wine colour carpet, along with a trophy cabinet and pictures of teams from bygone years. It is very classy to look at; unlike the little gammon clique sitting in the corner. Arch Thomson and “Whisky Nose” Mculloch are like a theme tune to the depression of this miserable Scottish Sunday night, with horizontal rain rattling off the window outside.

The gammons are, however, triumphant whilst tanking their McEwan’s lager and whisky chasers. Being the 25th October 1987, Rangers have defeated Aberdeen on penalties after a 3-3 draw in the league cup final. Normally the four of us at the bar would take umbrage to the songs that were aimed our way, such as “up tae our knees in fenian blood” and “no pope of Rome” not tonight though.

For some unknown reason “Whisky Nose” assumes he has the run of the Bowling Club due to his life-long membership and Arch Thomson (his sidekick and closet bigot) would hand out the threats, they felt equally important. However, all of a sudden, the joke really seems to reverse with how ridiculous they appear, like triumphant in some false sense of superiority

“Billy don’t be a hero” by Paper Lace blared from the jukebox. Billy, don’t be a hero, don’t be a fool with your life.

The barman Raymond, is responding with a “now now gentleman” or the odd shake of the head and smile as if to imply they were young rascals. Incidentally, I am the only Celtic supporter here, the others are basically neutral or side with Hibs – at a push. John Paul is of course a target due to his namesake of the present pontiff.

By some unexpected coincidence, John Paul has a small cake he purchased at the local garage labelled “cinnamon bun”. We all have a wry smile as he places it on the bar. We consider it would be a decent idea to present the gammons with this nice cake. John Paul places it on their table amongst their drinks as if it some kind of award. “A cake if ye want it” he informs them.

Whisky nose replies “cheers Pope John Paul” as they all cackle away in unison with a smokers laugh.

It must have taken about an hour for someone to point out the backhanded joke. “Ahhh so they’re wise cracks eh!” I hear Arch Thomson realising the cake had a double meaning.

Not the expected reference to the “5 Current Huns” nursery rhyme from the 80s, that included such greats as Richard Gough, Ally Dawson and Derek Johnstone and so on …

As predicted he’s approaching us with the macho posturing, resembling the pushing of an invisible wheelbarrow. He must have loved the sound of his clever rhyming ranting threat, “right! one … two … three … four … out the door” as he points at us individually then gives a reverse thumb.

Raymond the barman has stepped in and without a clue to what the issue is, reminds us that “we cannot be disrespectful to senior members of the club”. John Paul is offering Arch outside for a barney!

Arch ultimately accepted the offer of an altercation citing “this is for the honour of the Queen’s 11” before being knocked out with one punch and John Paul without getting a mark on his Pope John Paul II 1982 ‘Bella’ commemorative T-shirt marked.

To be continued …

Shake it all about time, Friday INs and OUTs assisted by David Rosling a valuable addition to the editorial team.

The revolution will not be televised!

INs

The return of the Kinning Park Circus

Stevie “Don’t Ask Me Silly Questions” Gerrard

Black jumper, blue breeks combo

Gold Star broon sauce

Workin on yer inner peace

Home made soup at meetings

Kyogo’s hair

Last Christmas I gave ye ma heart songs

Dark chocolate Bounty’s

Plenty of sauce n salad on yer kebab

Chinos

Adidas Earlham

Gettin yer swagger back

Pitta Gyros

The wonderful Paul Gallagher

Twitter pals

Other IN’s

A Roll with fritters and brown sauce

SEVCONIAN Meltdowns

Ye all-time greats

Having auld freends cawed Muriel

Building a chist ‘o’ drawers

Showing yer chist on top of a chist ‘o’ drawers

Charlton and the wheelies and the magic roundabout wallpaper

Adidas kick kicking

Having a chat fest with yer cat

’70s moving with a grooving

Return of roller skate discos at the Barras in yer 50’s

Iceland’s range of Barrett’s auld school range of ice lollies

The marvellous James Gemmell

OUTs

Grown men wi cardboard cut oots

Bernard Higgins

COP26 nonsense

Tesco’s sandwich game

Dippin chips in ice cream

Squid game

99p Wispa Gold hazelnut

Broon noses

HP broon sauce

The black dug

The price of fuel

Lack of supermarket crisps

Tory bastards

“Tommy” not getting his chicken wings

Adverts popping up on articles you try to read online

Crocks

“Tommy’s” beard

Manson attitudes to life

Whisky Nose McCulloch

Being stuck on a train with squaddies, rugger buggers or sevconian’s.

Thinking you are “Guru”

Gathering up football lads then not turning up.

West Ham becoming more West Gammon

Sunday football

Boring Oasis reunion opinions

Turn everything aff at night … Mirror signal manoTurneuvre and off ye go. ❤️

Any complaints speak to Angie or Paul Kealy.

Holywell Street offices are located at 110 Holywell Street next to Celtic park. Come along and see us.